Choosing Marriage

I cringe every time I hear the words, “marriage is just a piece of paper” or hear marriage referred to as an antiquated contract. Sure, there are legal ramifications that only accompany a marital bond. There is also the religious institution of marriage that may lack validity to those who classify themselves as agnostic, atheist, or non-religious.  But, marriage is what you make it.  As I see it, marriage is ultimately about choosing someone to become your family. 

After more than ten years of marriage, I still become teary-eyed when I realize that Mike is my family because we chose to make it so. I was thoroughly committed to him for the six years preceding our wedding, but marriage is deeper than just commitment or monogamy.  For me, marriage has been a patient journey toward unconditional love and acceptance of my spouse and myself. 

Most other familial relationships exist because of birth and relation. As a result, there is likely already a foundational love of that family member before hardships are endured and flaws are recognized.  Marriage is a special exception to that. It is a unique opportunity to make a person your family, inclusive of every strength, every weakness, every perfection, and every flaw. It is vowing to a person that you have chosen them to be forever part of your lineage, regardless of the number of years married. Marriage is not always simple, nor is it always certain. When life is difficult and overshadows my marriage, it is not the paper certificate locked away in my fire safe that brings me solace. It is my husband, my chosen family, that brings me comfort. All legal, religious, and contractual implications could be removed from marriage and I would still choose Mike to be my family day after day. As long as marriage remains the path to making that so, I will continue to denounce the "marriage is just a piece of paper" argument.